My Theory on Pregnancy

by Lauren Kay Weber

You guys.  I’ve had an epiphany.  Really!

Since I don't have my own crier to take a picture of yet, this picture is courtesy of

Since I don’t have my own crier to take a picture of yet, this picture is courtesy of

Actually, I have had a sneaking suspicion about the aforementioned epiphany since I first started experiencing morning sickness waaaaay back at the beginning of this pregnancy.  To the under-slept, over-nausea’d mom-to-be, 0ne must start grasping at straws to find meaning in all of the ickiness.  So you don’t lose your mind, you see.  Nothing’s worse than feeling like the suffering is all for nothing.  (Okay, not nothing, per se, since, you know, there’s a baby in there… but you know what I mean, yes?)  It feels much better to be learning something in the process.

And that’s why I say that the gross parts of pregnancy are actually priming us to be extra compassionate to our little ones once they come into this world sans umbilicus.

For the record, my husband thinks I’m crazy when I talk about this.

Think about it… here’s what happens when you’re pregnant.  (Or, at least what has happened to me.  I acknowledge that I seem to have had a more difficult pregnancy than a lot of people around me have shared.)  First, you get nauseous and can’t keep anything down.  Then you get incredibly, indescribably exhausted.  You require oodles of sleep at night.  And then a couple of naps during the day at absolute minimum.  Then you get… that’s right… gassy.  From both ends.  (Don’t believe me?)  You cry; you whine; you whimper.  You just want to be held… preferably by your husband.

Now, think about how hard it is to just be a human when a baby is first born.  They can eat, but often can’t keep it down for that long.  They have to sleep for hours and hours each day.  They’re toot monsters.  They burp!  Their bums make ungodly noises.  If things aren’t going exactly right, oh boy, do they cry!  And being held by mommy and daddy can solve all the world’s problems.

Sound familiar?  Hence my theory.  You better believe that I will look at little Asher and say, “Oh, honey… I know.”  I’m just glad I can hold my own head up.

As a side note, don’t you just love the picture at the top?  I’ve recently fallen in love with pictures of newborns crying.  There’s something so wonderful about wide open mouths, all gums and tongue sticking straight out, and tight-tight-tight shut eyes.  We’ll see if I still think that’s cute come month 2 of having a newborn, eh?